Man Utd joke

10-15-2007, 01:24 PM

Q: Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps?
A: Well, they had photos of Manchester United players on them - folk couldn't figure out which side to spit on.

Q: What has Old Trafford on a Saturday afternoon at 4.45pm got in common with Wormwood Scrubs Prison?
A: They are both full of cockneys trying to get out.

Q: How many Man U fans does it take to pave up a driveway?
A: Depends how thin you slice them.

Q. What would you call a pregnant Man United fan?
A: A dope carrier.

Sir Alex is queuing in his local building society, when a gunman bursts in through the door demanding money. Ferguson attempts to tackle the raider, but gets knocked over...as he falls, his head smashes the counter and Sir Alex is out cold. The robber escapes and the cashier tries to revive Ferguson. After a few minutes he comes round and looks bewildered. His first words are "Where the hell am I?". The Cashier replies: "don't worry, its ok, you're in the Nationwide." Ferguson replies, "F**k me, is it May already?"

Q. What do you call a Manchester United fan with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

10-15-2007, 02:56 PM

its not that but i like it

tune:amy winehouse,rehab

try to make me watch chelsea,
i said NO NO NO.
its the truth,
that lampard can't shoot OH OH NO
i don't have the time,
to listen to grant whine.
try to make me watch chelsea,
i said NO NO NO.

MaRtHa · 10-15-2007, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Red Devil No.1

its not that but i like it

tune:amy winehouse,rehab

try to make me watch chelsea,
i said NO NO NO.
its the truth,
that lampard can't shoot OH OH NO
i don't have the time,
to listen to grant whine.
try to make me watch chelsea,
i said NO NO NO.

i think every set of fans has a chant using that song. It's brilliant!

10-25-2007, 01:45 PM

thats funny

11-02-2007, 02:38 PM

I just said those man united jokes in an office full of arsenal fans... they cracked up, i wasnt impressed,.

WIGGAMYA · 03-19-2008, 05:09 PM

sweet sweet sweet

RobbieTorres9 · 03-26-2008, 12:36 PM

they're funny

lollol · 03-26-2008, 06:23 PM

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

bloomer · 03-31-2008, 05:51 PM

You can't beat these Manure jokes!!

diggy09 · 04-06-2008, 12:15 PM

man your jokes are crap but i like that funny tune about chelsea

10-15-2007, 01:24 PM	#1 (permalink)
kmlord Posts: n/a	Man Utd joke Q: Did you hear that the British Post Office has just recalled their latest stamps? A: Well, they had photos of Manchester United players on them - folk couldn't figure out which side to spit on. Q: What has Old Trafford on a Saturday afternoon at 4.45pm got in common with Wormwood Scrubs Prison? A: They are both full of cockneys trying to get out. Q: How many Man U fans does it take to pave up a driveway? A: Depends how thin you slice them. Q. What would you call a pregnant Man United fan? A: A dope carrier. Sir Alex is queuing in his local building society, when a gunman bursts in through the door demanding money. Ferguson attempts to tackle the raider, but gets knocked over...as he falls, his head smashes the counter and Sir Alex is out cold. The robber escapes and the cashier tries to revive Ferguson. After a few minutes he comes round and looks bewildered. His first words are "Where the hell am I?". The Cashier replies: "don't worry, its ok, you're in the Nationwide." Ferguson replies, "F**k me, is it May already?" Q. What do you call a Manchester United fan with half a brain? A: Gifted.

10-15-2007, 02:56 PM	#2 (permalink)
Red Devil No.1 Posts: n/a	chelsea song its not that but i like it tune:amy winehouse,rehab try to make me watch chelsea, i said NO NO NO. its the truth, that lampard can't shoot OH OH NO i don't have the time, to listen to grant whine. try to make me watch chelsea, i said NO NO NO. Last edited by Red Devil No.1 : 10-15-2007 at 02:59 PM. Reason: i made a mistake

04-06-2008, 12:15 PM	#10 (permalink)
diggy09 Youth Team Supports: donny rovers and manchester united Favourite Players: cristiano ronaldo Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: retford,nottinghamshire Rating: Posts: 32	man your jokes are crap but i like that funny tune about chelsea __________________ xbox live gamer tag:diggy09 add me if u like

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10-25-2007, 01:45 PM	#4 (permalink)
barca4ever Posts: n/a	thats funny

11-02-2007, 02:38 PM	#5 (permalink)
kinglouissaha Posts: n/a	I just said those man united jokes in an office full of arsenal fans... they cracked up, i wasnt impressed,.

03-19-2008, 05:09 PM	#6 (permalink)
WIGGAMYA Grassroots Supports: Tottenham Hotspur Join Date: Mar 2008 Rating: Not Rated Posts: 11	sweet sweet sweet

03-26-2008, 12:36 PM	#7 (permalink)
RobbieTorres9 Grassroots Supports: Liverpool Favourite Players: Fernando Torres, Robbie Fowler Join Date: Mar 2008 Rating: Not Rated Posts: 5	they're funny

03-26-2008, 06:23 PM	#8 (permalink)
lollol Grassroots Supports: Liverpool Join Date: Mar 2008 Rating: Not Rated Posts: 1	hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

03-31-2008, 05:51 PM	#9 (permalink)
bloomer Grassroots Supports: Liverpool Favourite Players: gerrard Join Date: Mar 2008 Rating: Not Rated Posts: 14	You can't beat these Manure jokes!!